General

You can ask a question here, and it will posted on the website. Confidentiality is guaranteed.  No e-mail addresses will be used.  When asking for advice, use ficticious names.  If you would like some advice but don't want it posted on the site, click here and put "Private" in the subject line.

(Page 1 of 17)   
« Prev
  
1
  2  3  4  5  Next »

ICERTIFIED.NET

TO ADVICE SEEKERS WHO HAVE AN ICERTIFIED.NET ADDRESS, YAHOO RETURNS MY REPLIES  AS UNDELIVERABLE. I POST ONLY A SAMPLING OF THE MANY LETTERS I RECEIVE, AND THE MAJORITY OF MY ADVICE REPLIES ARE SENT PRIVATELY TO YOUR E-MAIL.

LETTER TO ADVICE SEEKERS

IT HAPPENED AGAIN! WHEN SOME LETTERS END UP IN SPAM, I DIRECT THEM TO MY INBOX, AND THEY DID NOT TRANSFER, TODAY.  IF YOU WROTE ME AN E-MAIL MARCH 2, PLEASE RESEND.  IN THE FUTURE, I WILL TRY "ACTION" AND HOPE THAT FIXES THE PROBLEM. 

MESSAGE TO ADVICE SEEKERS

AS I HAVE STATED IN THE PAST, MOST OF MY REPLIES ARE SENT THROUGH E-MAIL. I POST ONLY ONE TO THREE LETTERS DAILY.

SOME OF THE LETTERS SENT TO ME END UP IN SPAM. TODAY, WHEN I REDIRECTED THEM TO MY INBOX, THEY DID NOT TRANSFER. IF YOU SENT ME AN E-MAIL, TODAY, FEBRUARY 28, PLEASE RESEND. THANKS, EMILY

Religious Belief Used As A Weapon

Dear Miss Emily:

My fiance's father is blackmailing us into getting married his way in a catholic church, or he is not going to sign over the farm to my fiance. He said he will sell the farm and leave his son nothing. He won't meet us half way with a blessing, and he doesn't care if we leave and he never sees his son, again. please help. We don't know what to do.

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

This is a  tough choice when money is involved! And I don't say that lightly. It's one thing to think about principle, but it's also true that giving in, if it doesn't compromise your life too much, may be the better plan. In other words, a farm -- land -- is no small thing. It could mean some security that others may never have. But it's also about the degree in which this manifest. If his father insists your kids are baptized, mandatory catholic school, and all the other religious-driven things people want if they are devout, and controlling (the will is his weapon), then it's best to lose the farm. It's possible he could change his mind once his grandchildren come - if you have them -- but only you and your fiance can know how much power his father will want to wield, and to what extent he will make you pay for not thinking like him.

ICERTIFIED.NET

DEAR ADVICE SEEKERS:

PERIODICALLY, I LET MY READERS KNOW THAT I CANNOT GIVE PERSONAL REPLIES TO ICERTIFIED.NET. I NEED ANOTHER ADDRESS TO HAVE IT SENT THROUGH YAHOO. WITHOUT AN ACCEPTABLE SERVER, THEY COME BACK TO ME UNSENT. I POST ONLY A SAMPLING OF MY LETTERS. I HAVE OVER 18,000 IN ARCHIVES THAT ARE ACCESSIBLE TO MY READERS IF IT'S A COMMON REQUEST.  THOSE CAN BE FOUND BY TYPING A KEY WORD IN THE BOX AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE (CHEATING, FOR EXAMPLE), OR LOOKING IN INDIVIDUAL CATEGORIES AT THE LEFT SIDE OF THE HOME PAGE.

I CAN'T EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR ME TO HAVE YOUR CORRECT E-MAIL ADDRESS.  IT SLOWS MY RESPONSE TIME TO OTHERS IF I'VE WRITTEN A REPLY -- BUT IT 'S RETURNED.  I DO NOT SHARE E-MAIL ADDRESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.   EMILY

MESSAGE TO ADVICE SEEKERS

I AM BACK FROM A WEEK LONG TRIP.  I WILL START POSTING TOMORROW. I POST ONLY A SAMPLING, AND THE BULK OF MY RESPONSES ARE SENT PRIVATELY TO YOUR E-MAIL. THAT'S WHY IT'S IMPORTANT I HAVE YOUR ACCURATE E-MAIL ADDRESS. ICERTIFIED.NET CANNOT BE SENT PRIVATELY. YAHOO RETURNS THEM. THANKS, EMILY

MESSAGE TO ICERTIFIED.NET ADVICE SEEKERS

PERIODICALLY, I NEED TO LET ADVICE SEEKERS WITH AN ICERTIFIED.NET ADDRESS KNOW THAT YAHOO WILL NOT DELIVER MY PERSONAL REPLIES. I POST ONLY A SAMPLE OF MY LETTERS RECEIVED. MOST REPLIES ARE SENT BY E-MAIL.  

No Good Reason To Move In With Best Friend

Hi Emily,
 
I am in a very tight spot. My best friend, and her husband have sealed the deal on a house. Her dad and a roommate live with them, which helps them make the monthly payment. The roommate has announced he will be moving out, and my friend  has asked me to move in. I know that they may lose the house if SOMEONE dowdy move in, but there are major issues. She is an animal hoarder. She has plethoras of rats, gerbils, chickens, and all others sorts of animals that really stink up the place. They have a baby, and I am not very patient with kids. I live alone, so I would lose all privacy, and alone time. I have a cat, and I'm scared she will be terrorized by her unruly dogs. She can be confrontational, which is also why I'm scared that being around her all the time will ruin our friendship. She tries to set daily CHORES, which are her animals messes! She has no respect for my privacy, and will go in my room if she wants to. I would have to share a bathroom with her pervert dad. Despite all of this, I love her very much, and feel obligated to help her. But at the cost of our friendship? Please help me! I'm so lost on what to do.

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

Wow, I love getting letters like this one! It makes it a lot easier for me to give advice when she  KNOWS ALL THE REASONS SHE SHOULD NOT MOVE IN WITH HER BEST FRIEND. How can I enlighten you further -- thelling you that your life would be in danger?  You have to decide who is more important -- you, or your friend. If you think she is, be prepared to take responsibility for that decision and don't complain about it after the fact. You know all the downsides of  moving in with her, her husband, and her "pervert" dad. If you choose you, which I highly recommend,  stand behind that choice - because you're under no obligation to forfeit your own creature comforts for her lifestyle.

MESSAGE TO ADVICE SEEKERS

DEAR ADVICE SEEKER:

I ONLY POST A SAMPLING OF MY LETTERS, AND MOST REPLIES ARE PRIVATE. THEREFORE, E-MAIL ADDRESSES THAT ARE  INCORRECT, AS WELL AS  ICERTIFIED.NET DO NOT GET A REPLY!   Thanks, Emily

Can't Let Go Of Past

Dear Miss Emily:

How do I let go of something I was crazy about ?  First a place, now a person, and I'm afraid i will never move on.

-------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

If the person is out of your life for good, and there's no chance of returning to a place you loved, it narrows down to having a mature approach to life and the understanding that many things in our lives will not be constants. People come and go during different phases, and the only exception would be a best friend (s) family, spouse, children -- but even those relationships can end, or drift apart. That is why, although few people would ever choose to be alone, you must depend on yourself to move forward, be open to new experiences, keep goo memories of the past, but be willing to create new memories, as well. When you lose someone in a relationship break-up, it's rarely a smooth transition. It takes time to heal, and it doesn't happen overnight.
(Page 1 of 17)   
« Prev
  
1
  2  3  4  5  Next »