Dear Miss Emily:

I'm a 16-year-old girl. I dated a guy for about a year and he broke my heart. I really think I fell "in love" with him. Before today, I thought he had moved on.  He's had other girlfriends and I've had other boyfriends but I've always had feelings for him.  Today, he told me he still loves me.  It completely shocked me and I said, "me too!" Now, he's asking me questions like, "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" and I don't know how to respond. I would like it, but I don't want to fall into his "trap" and get hurt again, because I know that will happen.  But I still really want him. Will going back out with him and getting heartbroken help me get over him? Maybe I won't be heartbroken.  Maybe he'll stay with me. But is that worth risking?  Is there another way to get over him? I've tried dating other people.  It hasn't worked, it just makes me hurt people. What can I do?
Tempted

-----------------Miss Emily’advice------------



Dear Tempted:

I don’t know how many times you’re up for having your heart broken, but I’m happy to know that you see the potential pitfalls in dating this guy, again. On the face of it, he’s a romantic. “What would you do if I kissed you now?” is a "heart pounder" of a line. He knows the lingo that might lead you into his, as you say “trap.” You did not say what he had done, before, but it sounds as if he hurt you badly enough to look at him as if he wears a skull-and-crossbones around his neck.  You seem to have unresolved feelings for him, however, and if you decide to take the risk of getting involved, again, it should be on your terms.  Of course, you would have to spell-out to him what they would be.  Don't get too “hot and heavy,” at first. Try to keep it relatively free of drama. If he objects, he’s not really serious about starting over with a new attitude.  Be aware of any signs of the past repeating itself. If this happens, get out before your heart takes another beating.  The first time you went down this rough road with him, it was new territory.  Now that you know the terrain, the journey with him should not be as difficult if you keep your ears and eyes open.  Good luck!