Dear Miss Emily:

 I have been seeing a great guy for 4 months. However,  I really like to cuddle, hug, and kiss but he is not as touchy feely as I am.  He is also very busy, and often tired. Sometimes he does cuddle with me but, other times, I feel a little rejected when I try to cuddle him and he doesn't respond. I usually end up saying something, like “So you don't want to kiss me?” Normally, he says he is tired. Then I feel like I am bugging him. We have had these disputes a few times. My question is am I being too needy? How can I keep from feeling upset when he doesn't want to cuddle?
Cuddle Bug

---------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------------


Dear Cuddles:

After you’ve cancelled out the obvious things: bad breath, hygiene not up to par, etc., I would just have to say that this guy isn’t a romantic because, tired or not, only four months into it, his libido should kick-in and override the exhaustion.  There are always exceptions, however, such as weight or underlying health issues.  It could be that he has a problem with intimacy, and he feels uncomfortable getting too close.  Check the relationship he had with his mother.  Sometimes you need look no further than this.  But I think if this is important to you (kissing and cuddling are normal, loving things to do), and you feel you want this in your life, don’t make this guy the one you peg for the long haul.  Because intimacy is an important part of a secure, happy relationship, not getting what you want can smolder into a bonfire. Time will tell if this problem spills into other areas.  Keep a lookout but, until then, enjoy him for what he has to offer and  assess the situation from time-to-time. Stop asking for what he can’t give.  He does perceive it as being needy and you never want this to be the case.  If you pursue him in this manner, and he’s typical, he’ll find a way to blame you for something he’s incapable of providing.