Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend of six months (we are 14 so its a long time for us) is extremely sweet, cute, funny, the works. But I found out the the whole time he has been dating me, he has been hitting on other girls. Including his exes, girls who he knows want to date him, and my friends. Not just "you look hot" either, it's everything from almost cheating to asking to see their chests and lower. I broke up with him a while ago, but took him back out of pure pity because he was crushed with out me. I threatened to leave him in March once he started lying about the flirting. We moved on from the fight, and now he wants me to send him "pictures" and possibly have sex. Its an absolute  NO but I'm afraid to tell him in fear he'll cheat on me. He is sweet and says if it's too far for me, he's ok with that but he wont stop asking. Now on the bright side, he's sweet, caring, funny, doesn't want to loose me again and is always worried about me. I do really care for him and believe we could last a long time -- like how his parents met at our age (I'm not thinking we will get married, but the fact he is raised that way is cute). It seems now the only time we have a good conversation is when he is asking about that stuff, and that's it. I am trying to decide whether or not I should leave him for good. He did change from March-now, but I'm worried still. (Sorry for the long message) Thanks

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

Please go into my website and look at some of the advice I've given other teenage girls, because I think it will help strengthen your resolve to keep this kid in line. Access it by clicking on the "relationships/teens" category in the column on the left-hand side of the page. You know, this is an age-old story. When teenage boys reach puberty they suddenly think sex is the center of the world, and their mission in life if to explore great depths until they hit the mother lode. Some teenage boys, however, are able to keep it in check and not pressure girls to have sex just because they have turned into a part-wild animal. Girls reach puberty and have hormonal changes too -- and sexual feelings do arise, but nature allows them greater control. This is the way I see it. He's acting pretty typical for a kid his age, but it's up to the girl to put herself first, realize she's no slave to anyone, and if he wants sex he can get it somewhere else -- and you should give your blessing, by the way. You don't owe him anything on this score, nor do you need to put yourself in the position of having to understand his needs and try to figure out what you can do to accommodate him so he won't go elsewhere. This isn't how you should be thinking. This is the 21st century (I say this a lot) and girls and women aren't chattel -- although it's amazing how some females still think they are put on earth to please a man. You have a brilliant life ahead of you if you make yourself the boss of it -- make decisions that are best for you. I will cut him some slack because he's a horny 14 year-old kid, but I'll cut you no slack if you give in to his wishes, against your will, just to keep him from going girl-hopping. Sex is a big step, and you won't keep him by giving in. It will only allow him to get his way, continue to want more and, perhaps, move on to another adventure with someone else. You're smart. I can tell by your e-mail. But your intelligence will only serve you well if you use it to guide your life in the direction that's best for you. Giving into this "little horny beast" will not get you there.  He may be sweet and funny, but he's acting like an out-of-control teenybopper. I get a lot of letters from pregnant teens, and I feel so sorry for them. Most of the time they just wanted someone to love them, never thought about birth control and were horribly disappointed when the boyfriend didn't turn out to be a stand-up guy emotionally and, sometimes, abandon them. But that's not you -- although not all these girls come from broken homes or lack education.  Just thought I'd throw that in for good measure. P S: Let me know if you saw this post. I sent an answer to you via e-mail and it came back because the address is wrong.