Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating a guy from work for about 8 weeks.  He said in the beginning that he wanted to take things slow, things were going fine. He talked about me meeting his parents, etc,. Then, suddenly, things have ended?  He said he really, really likes me, but things have moved a lot faster than he would have liked, and "for the time being" he wants to leave it.  I asked him if it was over then, and he said "Well, yes just for the time being." What does this mean? It’s killing me not knowing what’s going on.  I know it was such a short time we had been dating, but I rarely feel like this about people.  I have only ever felt like this about one other person in my life Please help/advise me?
Waiting to fall

----------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------


Dear Waiting:

Let’s get the question out of the way first.  What does, “It’s over just for the time being,” mean?  It means that this individual thinks he has you over a barrel, and that he can say this type of thing to you, and have you think that it’s okay.  And, “Maybe, baby, if I change my mind, I know you’ll probably be waiting for me with baited breath.  But right now, I have some doubts.  It’s a big world out there.  I have a touch of ‘commitment phobia’ and, well, I like playing the field. And oh, yeah, I met someone else who is hot so I don’t want to jump into the meeting parents thing now, if ever.”  Sound possible?  I wouldn’t put my life on hold waiting for this one to come around, because he could have said, “Let’s slow down but still see each other for dinner or a movie,” rather than offering nothing.   It’s possible he still have some feelings for you, but I don’t like his style and, for that reason, I’d be a little gun-shy for a “round two” with him.  People make mistakes, and forgiveness is part of what allows us to keep communicating with each other.  But you have to decide if someone who builds you up only to knock you down is worthy of your heart, once again.  If I were you, and I had a chance to tell him this,  I’d say, “By the way, thanks for the warning.”  If he were to ask what that meant, just smile and walk away.  Now, HE knows what it’s like to be dismissed.  And my warning to you:  If this rejection of him causes him to want to pursue you again – know that once the game is won, the reasons for the match remain the same.