Hi Miss Emily,

I need your help. The problem is i like this guy and would like to marry him. However, his family isn't so well-to-do. I'm from and affluent family and not sure if i can adjust in a middle class family. Should i marry him or move on to other guys?

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

That all depends on these factors: Do you truly love and respect him? That's a good first step! I see your point. When you mix two different backgrounds, it can be hard to overcome preconceived ideas and value systems based on childhood experience and class status. Wealthy people have problems, but money isn't one of them, and he would have to understand that. If he is a prideful guy, if your parents offered to help you and him financially, he could say to you, "No, we need to do this on our own." That could mean the difference between you having the creature comforts you have come to expect, and not having them. He cannot ever resent you for your status in life (that's if you don't flaunt it), nor can you ever resent him for his -- and that's hard to do. He must be a secure man who is not easily threatened by your family's money and be able to pursue his goals without doubting his own abilities, or feel pressured by your family to do things "their way." Like all relationships, common goals and interests are important. That's not to say you can't be independent in the relationship -- that's healthy, but political views, religious views and, as I said before, a similar value system is paramount for a successful marriage. And let me emphasize this point, again. If your dad were to say, "I don't see why " Tom" won't take our offer for a down payment on a house. He should want you to have the best," you'd have to be willing to tell Dad, "He wants us to do this on our own" -- and, most importantly, you would have to agree, or at least be willing to accept your husband's decision if he were to want it that way.  I'm not saying this would be the case, but it has happened. Finally, trust is the cornerstone of all good relationships. If this man is worth the effort, couples counseling will help you figure this all out.  An informed decision is best in every aspect of life, and marriage is no exception. I hope I helped.