Dear Miss Emily:

This afternoon I got upset with my boyfriend and don't know whether I should have.... during spring break my son and I spent the night at my boyfriend's house, because his daughter who lives close to 300 miles away was coming for the week... We all had a good time, especially watching the kids play with the wii.. My son had brought over his controls and his daughter had her own, but once we left we had not noticed that she had mistakenly taken one of my son's controller. I noticed when my son and I were at home playing, and the controller wasn't working well -- and then I saw that it had bite marks all over it, so I called my boyfriend and told him that we had his daughter's controller that doesn't work well, and the first thing out of his mouth was how he would buy her one the next time she would visit. She doesn't come that often, and I was hurt by the fact that instead of him saying he would just buy my son one and let his daughter keep his... especially since it was only six months old, and in very good shape. I got angry with him and he didn't understand why. I would have done that if the table were turned. I also brought up how would she know which one was my son's and if she would take care of it seeing how her other remote also had dog bite marks and her cell phone just got chewed up by that dog... I don't know, was I wrong?

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------

I don't think you're wrong, but I also think that when something like this happens, these are some of the possible reasons why: Maybe he didn't think it out, and you expected him to, immediately, be a stand-up guy about it -- but when he wasn't quick to fix it,  your temper flared and your feelings got hurt, AND/OR both of you had a knee-jerk reaction, and protective feelings for your, and his child was instinctual. I wouldn't be surprised if you thought his daughter took the good controller for her own, and left your son with her damaged equipment -- and that could be true! This is the sort of thing you need to say in the future if this kind of thing happens, again. "Honey, by accident, your daughter took the good controller my son had, and I'm wondering if you could replace it for him? It's no one's fault, I just need to make it right." Go through the back door, so to speak. If he takes issue with that kind of reasoning, then he does have a sensitive chip missing in this area and  thinks you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. I'd let it go, for now, and watch for that kind of behavior in the future. Blended families are not easy to maneuver, and each person needs to be mindful of the pitfalls, and the hard work that goes into them, before making a leap into something like... marriage!