Hi Miss Emily,

I have been seeing a man who is 41 years old, i am 32 years old, for about six weeks. On our first date, we talked for hours, he payed, and we had a good time. We went out another time for drinks a few days later. On our third date we kissed for the first time, and he slept overnight.  We were pretty physical, but no sex.  After this date he told me he was glad we didn't have sex because he had been divorced, and hurt before and wanted to take things slow. After this, i was slightly offended so backed almost completely off.  He would text, and i would answer the questions he asked but that was about it. Shortly after this discussion i suggested that maybe we should be friends. Well he told me a week after this text i sent that he was offended that i said that because he was under the impression that we were more than friends. I told him I said it because I thought that's what he wanted, and he understood.  We have gone on about seven dates total.  Last week he came over one morning to bring me coffee, and we were physical again, no sex but almost. That morning we spend six hours together just talking.  He told me about his nasty divorce and i listened. That was eight years ago. Well, anyway, several days ago we spent most of the day together doing mutual activities that we both enjoy.  No physical interactions occurred at all this day.  we went out to dinner, and now it's two days later, and not a word.  He is going out of town soon for a month and suggested that maybe i should come since i have a friend who lives in the town he is going to for work.  I decided to go, but i am apprehensive with this relationship.  Is it normal that we spend time together, then i don't hear from him for days? Oh and another thing is he has told me that he has the tendency to push people away. I am really afraid to get hurt here and  have tried to not get excited about this relationship.What do you think about this relationship?

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

Hurt by a woman he married and, now, after eight years of being divorced, he feels like it was yesterday? Wow, is he sensitive!  Maybe too sensitive!!!  Like you, I am concerned. I often think a guy who doesn't go for sex has problems in that area. I could be wrong but, because you got so close, it seems odd not to follow through. He may be one of those guys who takes notice when an obnoxious Viagra commercial comes on T V. Again, I could be off-base, and he truly believes intercourse means commitment. How long would you be going away with him? In my opinion, this is dicey. I can see a weekend -- see how it goes, but no longer than that. Not calling for a few days, well, that would be in keeping with his wanting to take it slow -- and he could be busy. But he seems like the kind of guy who would drive me to drink, after a while, because of frustration. I don't think it's a wash, just yet, but I sense some possible warning signs. Please let me know what happens.