Dear Miss Emily:

This may be long but i would appreciate the help.. O k, I'm a freshman in college this year and this all started this past summer when i met this girl through a mutual friend around 3 weeks before i left for school. We immediately hit it off and talked nearly everyday, all day, and went out a few times before i had to leave for school. I knew that she had to like me, and i was correct, in that she told me like the day before i left that she really liked me and wished i didn't have to go. I felt the same way and had not felt this way about another girl before at all. But we stayed in touch talking everyday while i was at school all the while saying how much we missed each other and how much we couldn't wait to see each other. This went on for about 2 months - in that 2 months she said that she couldn't explain how she could like someone that she never sees this much and even let it slip that she thinks she loved me. I felt the same way and after a couple months we kind of decided to make it official and label ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. (A little background - we never got a chance to see each other because she worked on the weekends and i play a sport in college where i couldn't leave to go home during the fall because of the time commitment. This lasted all the way til a little after Thanksgiving where she broke it off with me because she thought it was too difficult trying to make this work because we never got to see each other. I was heartbroken, devastated, and depressed for a while because even though I only was physically with her for a short while, you cant help when you meet someone or how you feel about them. We expressed everything to each other and i actually was willing to give this a shot to last (that's how strongly i felt about her). But she split it with me and eventually after a little while got back together for like 3 weeks with an old boyfriend (a real sh*thead if you ask me) she was with before she met (who she explained to me that she wanted to be with him because she could see him everyday and that it was more practical than what we would have to do. I kind of understood that even though it killed me knowing she was with someone else. I still tried to talk to her and get her back but she was resistant and eventually became a real dick to me and while i was home for Christmas break, i never even got to see her and after that i had to say to myself that i had to move on because she obviously didn't want me anymore. After about a week of being back at school, i sort of started moving on from her (i at least didn't think of her 24/7) and even started to see some other girls as possible prospects to talk to. after that week she texted me saying that she was sorry for being a 'bi*ch' to me and that she has been in a bad mood after her breakup with her boyfriend and wasn't feeling well too and apologized. i thanked her for apologizing and that i appreciated it and that was near the end of that conversation. i didn't want to press the conversation because i knew that if we got to talking again all those feelings would rush back extremely fast because most of them were still present. A few days passed since then and she texts me again trying to start a conversation. i was feeling a bit lonely as i still didn't find that many girls at my school to be my type, and i talked to her for the rest of that night. although i did like talking to her, i knew that i shouldn't be the one to initiate a conversation and said if she wanted to talk, then she'd be the one to talk to me. A few days later she texts again and we have another conversation. this goes on for about 2 weeks and at this point i really started to enjoy talking with her again and start to text her in between those days when she wouldn't text me. we talked probably 4 days a week approximately. all of those feelings immediately came back and all i could think about was her. she was even the one that suggested we do something when i come home and seemed excited for me to come home (whenever she mentioned it she used exclamation points which usually are a rarity for her in common conversation). So when i came home our first planned hang out didn't work out and we planned to see a movie Saturday night (the last day i would be there as i left Sunday morning) after she was done with work. so Saturday comes and i text her in mid afternoon to tell her that when she is done with work for her to text me and tell me what movie she wanted to see and i would look up the times. I waited and waited for her to text and it never came. About 5 hours later i text her two question marks and she still didn't answer. at this point i basically began to breakdown and went for a drive for a couple hours as my head was spinning and i really felt like my heart broke into a million pieces into my stomach. It was sickening. that was when i became desperate and extremely upset and called her, and called her, and called her with about 30 minutes in between each call. after the fourth call she calls me back minutes later sounding very tired, saying she was sorry and that she has been asleep since 4 after taking some Nyquil to try to make her feel better. i said oh okay i was just calling because i wanted to make sure everything was alright because i didn't know what had happened and told her i wished she felt better. I'm 50/50 on that she blew me off. i then proceed to leave for school the next morning feeling very confused and a bit heartbroken again. later that day after me being back at school for a little while, i put up a Facebook status as being back at 'school'. she texts me a few hours after putting this up as to why i didn't tell her that today was my last day at home (i had told her before when i would be home but it had been a while back and she could have forgotten). i answered that i thought she knew when i was leaving and that ya i was back at school now. she responds that shes pissed that i left and she was mad we didn't get to hangout while i was home. we then talk the rest of the night til she goes to sleep and there we are now. I really feel like this girl could be the girl for me if she gave it a chance again and i never have felt this way about someone. she's all i think about and i don't even see any other girls as comparing to her. this seems to me as what love is but what do i know i'm still young. i know some of you will say that i just need to move on but it just isnt that easy. Do any of you have any advice? How do you think she thinks of me? Does she just like to mess with my head? Should i just say f*ck it and tell her how i feel and see what happens? Please, as you can tell this is something that is driving me crazy because i'm that crazy about her. Thank you for reading and responding, i know its long but you would be doing me a tremendous favor by giving me an outsider's input. Thank you!

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------------

A lot of hurt with this one. After reading the part about her wanting to break if off, after you left for school, I felt there was someone else in the picture. It's not uncommon for a person to go back with the ex, only to find out it didn't work out because the reasons for the breakup still loomed large. But let's look at it from both sides: She had three weeks of getting to know you, talks on the phone, a friendship and more starting to bloom. Her boyfriend comes back into the picture, and she's distracted -- doing things with him, having her own drama, and not really thinking much about you. You, one the other hand, are miserable -- thinking about her all the time, and your heart breaking over the loss. Things go belly-up with the boyfriend, and she reaches out to you. Now you are home, time is short, she's sick, and rather silly to be taking Nyquil -- which knocks one out pretty easily because much of it is an anti-histamine, and that's the main ingredient of over-the-counter sleep aids. They make you drowsy. Now, I'm not making excuses for her, but she had been doing her own thing, used to it, and you're off at school. The wires get crossed -- she takes a side that she didn't know when you were leaving, and you are hurt because she should have known if she really cared. And although it would be easy to call her a "flake," I'm going to reserve judgment until next time -- and that means give it another chance to see if things work out. In the meantime, live your life, do not think about her 24/7, because you have school -- as well as a need to put this in perspective. I'm all for honesty, but not from a "poor me" approach. You could tell her you were extremely disappointed when you couldn't see her, but you're over it. Let her know you want to see her, again, but you're not a fool, and if she isn't really interested  in you, you need to know. If she's on board with that, keep talking, don't act as if the sun rises and sets on her, and plan something when you come home for a weekend. Make it firm, plan a nice date, and take it from there. If she shines you, again, man-up and realize that this chick isn't what you want because she's either got her head up her rear, or she's not what she appeared to be. Watch the movie 500 Days of Summer to prepare yourself if it doesn't work out. There would be a good reason, and you would have to take a look at that and move on -- knowing there's someone out there who appreciates the fabulous, smart guy you are.