Dear Miss Emily,

I need your help please. I'm 16. Ok, so I really really like this guy. And well I'm kind of letting him control my life. If he's happy then I'm happy. And well I've know him for almost 2 years. So one day he's really nice to me, but then the next day he won't even talk to me. I don't get why he's like that. Well I've kind of gotten used to it, but it still gets me really upset when he doesn't talk to me. So I really don't like to text people, first, because I feel like I might bother someone if there doing something. But I decided to text people first sometimes. So I texted the guy I like a few times. And we would text and it was fun. Then the guy I like told me that he likes this other girl in our grade. I was upset because he liked someone else. I'm friends with the girl he likes and she told me that she likes these two other guys. So I told the guy, and he got upset, but I don't know what he's going to do. I found out a couple day ago that my friend used to like him last year. I got really worried that they might acutally go out. I really don't want that to happen. I just get so jealous if I just see him with another girl. I really hate feeling like this though. Ok, well, I was texting him earlier today and he was joking around asking me if I wanted to bring him some food. I really wanted to see him because its our spring break. So I told him that I would. He told me that he was at his mom's house that was at the next town more then five miles away. So I went anyway. He couldn't leave his house so me and my friend went to buy him a pizza and walked all the way to his house. It was fun, because I was texting him the whole time. He was saying that I was so nice and funny. It made me happy that he said those things. And well I gave him the pizza but, when I was there, I was all nervous, that I was scared to even look at him. I felt so stupid afterwards. He said that he didn't think I would actually bring him pizza but I did. And we haven't texted each other since then. So I was thinking, was he just using me to get food, or was all the nice stuff he told me though text real? I'm so confused. Please help me
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

I think I would have preferred you tell him "I'm not a delivery service!" but that's me, and I've lived longer than you. I think he knows you like him a great deal and he probably took advantage of your subservient nature. I don't mean that as an insult, but if you want someone to like you, you need to show self-respect. This guy told you he liked two other girls. He had no problem letting you know it, and that tells me he's not interested in you in the way you wish. I'm not saying that's forever -- time has a way of changing things. That said, be yourself, loosen up, and show him you're not waiting for him to tell you when to breathe. If he doesn't respond by seeing the new you, there's not much more you can do. Understand that no guy is better than you -- more powerful than you -- or can make you feel insecure unless you let it happen. I strongly suggest you read some of my letters, to teens, I post on my site. You'll find them in the category "relationships/teens" on the left side of my homepage. I think reading letters from other girls your age -- many in the same situation, will help you overcome some of your fears. Let me know what happens. I care.