Dear Miss Emily:

This has a very long story with it but in general my question is...  How do I deal  with a guy that only wants to use me sexually? And I don't know if I want to do this with him of not. Feel free to email me for more about the story. I need all the help I can get

--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

Please feel free to read many of the letters I get from teens on my homepage site. In the column, off the the left side of the page, you'll find a category "relationships/teens." I think some of what I tell teen girls might be of some help to you. That said, how you deal with a guy who only wants sex is to let him go and pass him on to some girl who has low-self esteem and thinks she has to give in to a guy's sexual desires because well, gee, he's a guy and isn't that the way you keep him?  No, it isn't, but let her figure that out rather than you. Most guys are going to want sex, let's face it. But if you are a quality person with a sense of pride about who you are and what you want from life, it shouldn't be hard to say, "No," mean it, and be glad you went after what you really want first, instead of giving into his primal need to mate. Freedom is liberating. And that means free to let others know who you are, you know how to get what you want, you don't settle for less -- no apologies needed!