Dear Miss Emily: My live-in boyfriend of almost five years has always treated me with complete respect. Always put my needs first and never forgets to remind me how beautiful I am or how greatful he is to have me. Things seems to be going on track. The only time we argue is about silly stuff or the big one, getting married. I am more than ready at 22 but I fear however that he is not. We talk about it almost everyday but nothing ever happens. Lately he has told me that the pressure of it all is what is making it so hard. So I have let that go. I am willing to wait for him to be ready. (this is just a little history, now to the problem) he is in the military and occasionally does deployments. Last year at this time he went overseas. I snooped in his email and found that he had been recieving naked pictures from two girls I know. He had also been writing them back, mostly dirty talk. Well, after about six months of arguing we decided that the only way this could work is if we moved on. He let me check his email, phone or whatever i felt like. Everythign seemed to be going fine. Lately we have been fighting about getting married again, and i just had this feeling that he was at it again. Sure enough I went and found emails and the girl had been sending pictures to him. He claims it is nothign more than excitement, same as porn. Something that turns him on. I do not feel the same way whatesoever. He has promised yet again to stop. And says that we are going to get married soon. Now what I want is hardly to get married. I cannot trust him. Is it possible to ever truly trust someone after they have lied to you not once, twice but three times? Sometimes I feel like I should just give up but most of the times I honestly just want to get over this whole thing and work things out. Please give me some advice. I have no idea what to do. -----------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------------- He sounds like a keeper in so many ways, but do you think his behavior is an extention of his lack of experience with women? I ask, of course, because you and he have been together for 5 years. I'm not making excuses for him, I'm just trying to cover all bases. I wouldn't be terribly concerned about the naked pictures of girls, but I think the fact you know these girls makes it much harder to accept. That said, it would be difficult to find a man who was not curious about what he can see and do from the technology that offers it. And it will always be a temptation to most men. It's at the ready, by the press of a button -- and voila! naked women -- all shapes and sizes -- doing all sorts of things. I think it's the nature of the beast, but there are limits to this desire. I get letters from women whose boyfriends or husbands spend hours looking up porn. And if a woman tries to monitor the behavior, it often becomes a futile effort, or goes underground. I don't think you need to send your trust in him packing, just yet. If a guy's going to get sneaky about anything, this would be the area he would do it. Tell him the correspondence with these particular girls is just plain hurtful and insulting to you -- and if he doesn't think about that when he's doing it, this is definitely a reason to wait on marriage. I think he needs to grow up a little, and his not wanting to marry, despite his recent change of heart, is a good sign he knows it. And I would heed that warning. Fifty-percent of marriages end in divorce, and I am sure you do not want to be part of this statistic.