Dear Miss Emily My Parents are controlling my wedding/marriage- HELP! I am 24 years old and my fiance is 27. I earned a B.A. at a university, worked for 2 years and lived on my own and have moved back with my parents for the past 7 months to help with money. My fiance and I have been dating for 13 months now. He is a baseball coach at a major university in another state. He proposed in September and we have been planning a June 2010 wedding. My parents will be paying for it, my mom has already purchased my dress, we have asked our 12-member wedding party to participate, everything has been set. Now, 3 months before I am to be a married woman and move onto a life with my husband, my parents are getting cold feet and are coming up with excuses like they NOW think my fiance doesn't make enough money, etc. and they refuse to hold the wedding this June. They want to cancel. I am completely in love with "him" but I dont want to fight with my parents about it. They have done everything for me, including financially supporting me now. I love them and I love my fiance- I dont want to fight and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Am I being unreasonable to feel like at the end of the day? It is MY choice to get married and I dont think they should stand in my way? Do you think it would be disrespectful to my parents to get married without a wedding for them to be involved with? Am I too worried about their opinion and just need to grow up and move on? PLEASE- any perspective other than mine and the parties involved is GREATLY appreciated! --------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------- Is there any other possible reason for why your parents have changed their minds about your fiance? They have some dirt on him, or he isn't the guy they thought he was, after all? Because his income is either a cover for something else, or your parents have a snobbish side to them. Two other possibilities come to mind: You've only known him 13 months, and he asked you to marry him after dating only six months. Do they see red flags because, in their eyes, it's too soon to marry? Could it be that your parents won't admit to you that they are financially strapped and can't really afford this wedding? Have they (other than the dress) paid out a considerable amount of money for this wedding, as well, the wedding party? Please let me know the answer to these questions. You have a real delimma on your hands, but if I don't hear back from you, yes, it's my opinion that if you truly love this man and know you will have a wonderful future together, tell your parents you intend to marry him as planned, and if they back out on the financial support you will find a way to make the wedding work -- and you would like them to attend! What else can you do? Wait until your parents give their blessing? And when might that be -- when his income reaches their level of acceptance? From what you have told me, they are being unreasonable and controlling by doing this to you at this late date. Does your fiance know about this latest development, and why they want to cancel?