Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years now.  He lives with his mother and we have not made the jump to living together. We have this constant struggle with his commitments to me and those to his family. I am very close to breaking up ... here is why ... last night after work i wanted to go to dinner, he said no he was tired, going to take his mom for take out, he just wanted to stay home.  I gave options. So 30 minutes later I call him to say have a nice veg time and he is at a restaurant having dinner with his mom and brother.  He said it didn't go like he wanted and then they went out.  How could he after I just asked him out>  Last week, same thing except he made plans to eat with me ... but Mom and brother wanted to go out ... so he went and had pie and showed up 2 hours late to my house.  He promised at that point he would never do it again and, then, yesterday.  I don't like his brother, because at Christmas I bought my boyfriend at $250 bike because he wanted to start biking. Well his brother said my bike was no good and went and bought him a $1600 bike.  That almost killed us ... his brother disrspected me and my gift as did my boyfriend.  So I took my bike back and got my money.  Should I leave this guy?  He says I ask too much .. help, am I just a crazy girl?

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

Unless you are a relentless nag, no, you are not asking too much to be considered important in his life. Sadly, you seem to be competing with his family and that's never a good place to be. His family should be important, there's no question about it, but he needs to learn to budget his time, say no to others when he's made a commitment to do something with you, and to call his brother out when he insulted your Christmas present -- a present you had, obviously, saved for and thought would make him tremendously happy. Insensitive and cruel are words that come to mind. This relationship cannot be held together by one person. It takes two, as you well know. After a year-and-a half together, it might have become routine and stale -- although that does not excuse his disregard for your feelings. I suggest a break to put it in perspective. Moving in with him would be the kiss of death if he continues to treat you like a sister, a bitch, or an afterthought.