Dear Miss Emily:

 Hi,  I have been in a very good relationship for a year, now. I have one issue I don't quite understand, and I’m not sure if it's just me or if my concern is legit.  The mother of his child tends to call everyday, later in the evening, many times after 9 PM and even called one night, after midnight.  I understand they have to talk about their child, but she knows he is in a relationship.  Out of common courtesy and respect, wouldn't most ex's call during the day or early evening unless there is an emergency?  I have a child and wouldn't think to call my ex late at night. Please tell me your thoughts.  I don't know if I should say anything or just let it go.
Had It

--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------


Dear Had It:

Common courtesy?  Too many people have never heard of such a thing or if they have, it applies to everyone else but them.  This woman can’t let go and needs to be in control by using their child as a means to get it.  It is absurd to contact her ex on a daily basis, concerning their child, unless the child is going through a crisis and two heads are needed to figure out a solution.  I’m surprised that your boyfriend doesn’t say something, like, “I wish she would stop calling so often.  It’s driving me crazy, and I’m going to put a stop to it!”  I think one of two things: His child is so much the center of his world that all else takes a back seat – or – He’s a gutless wonder and lets his ex manipulate him.  If I were you, I would ask him if he thinks these persistent calls are necessary and appropriate.  If he thinks they are (and he doesn’t have a rational reason for it) then your feelings don’t truly matter to him, and get used to the fact that you will be expected to shut up about it and ignore these constant intrusions.  If he says he can’t control what she does concerning this matter, get used to living with a wimp-type who may be good to you in many ways, but loses your respect where it matters the most.  If this issue can’t be solved, now, expect even bigger problems down the road.  Oh no!  A third possibility just popped into my mind.  Do you think he still has feelings for his ex?  Food for thought!