Dear Miss Emily:

Help! Ive been with my boyfriend for two years and I just gave birth to our son less than a month ago. And I found out he had been talking to other women behind my back. Now he is saying he doesn't want a commitment, he doesn't want to get married and he can't stand to live with me. I don't understand because I still love him and want to work it out. What should i do? I am so sad and depressed. I don't know where I went wrong?

--------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

"The more things change, the more things stay the same." It's an old expression that defines an age-old story. There are few guarantees in life, but if this wasn't a planned pregnancy and you are very young, some guys get cold feet and want to take a powder. The idea of family life scares them when faced with the reality, especially when they haven't had a chance, or inclination to grow-up. I think you're going to have to free him do what he thinks he wants to do and not stand in his way. He has a legal obligation to financially support his child, and if he thinks he's going to shirk that, he's sadly mistaken. I know your heart is broken, but your child needs you to be strong. Let him do what he thinks he has to do, and if he finds out his need for freedom wasn't so smart (and this could happen), hopefully he'll be lucky enough to have your forgiveness and take him back. But for now, find family and friends' support, and don't look desperate or needy. If you do, he'll think he has a valid excuse for leaving you -- typical of human nature when people act selfishly and need to rationalize bad behavior. In the future, have a plan.