Dear Miss Emily:

Me and my boyfriend have been together about 10 months now and I love him to bits. But we keep arguing about petty things and these just escalate in to a massive argument. We are both so unhappy but feel we can't talk about are feelings in case we cause another argument.When we are not arguing things are great. What can we do to resolve things and stop the arguments?

-----------------Follow-up Question------------------

Give me an idea as to what your arguments are about?  Emily

Emily:
 
Recently we have been arguing about money, although we earn about the same though it varies a bit, I am able to save money and have some left over at the end of the month.  My boyfriend on the other hand is paid weekly and usually has no money by about Wednesday. The problem occurs when I want to go out for a meal or down to Brighton for the day and am willing to pay for everything-- but he says no as his pride gets in the way. To me it doesn't matter. Other arguments occur when I say something and he takes it all out of context and makes it sound like I'm saying something much worse, and when I try to say sorry there's just no getting through, the damage is done. My boyfriend is very into sport and sometimes I feel second best to just about every sports event going, and when I try to bring this up its like I'm asking too much and just attention seeking. We don't really have a lot in common. I like shopping, baking and watching chick flicks and he likes watching sport and playing sport. I sometimes wonder how we stayed together so long, but the truth is we love each other and when things are good they are really good.

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

Arguments about money are pretty common in relationships, but it can only go on for so long without some resolution unless you enjoy suffering. Why he doesn't have any money after Wednesday means what, he's at the pub drinking and betting on sports? You may love each other, but I don't see this relationship being long term. Because if you don't see the warning signs now (the basic core of each of you is at odds) then there's more trouble ahead. If he weren't selfish and, occasionally, thought about your needs, he'd squirrel some money away and spend it on an outing with you. The way he's handling it is to punish you for being smart about your money. You say you'll pay, but he won't let you because he has false pride -- so you stay home, and you're suppose to feel guilty that you dare make him feel bad because he's a lousy boyfriend who couldn't hold on to a pound if the parliament signed it into law! Open up your eyes.You are second best, behind sports and his empty wallet. Not my cup-of-tea.