Dear Miss Emily:

Hi, I really need some help and I am desperate and willing to try anything. My ex and I had been together just over 3 years until Tuesday. A year ago I cheated on her and we broke up for about a week but ended up getting back together. Everything was going good as far as I knew until Sunday night when she told me that it had been exactly a year since we broke up last and she still thinks about what I did to her and that it still really hurts. After 2 nights of lots of crying and talking and me trying to persuade her to stay with me, she broke up with me. I went over there last night to get my things, and we talked for about 3 hours which included crying, a little laughing and, even, a couple hugs and kisses. She now says that she loves me and always will but she has fallen out of love with me and that the reason we can't be together is because she can't forget what happened and she is not the type of girl that can move on. Is there anything I can do to try and get her back because I am struggling very bad without her? I don't really want to try and move on all I want is to be with her.  I know I made a mistake, but I think I did everything in this past year to try and make up for it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

Sadly, this is the price for doing what you did. I'm not chastising you for it, the temptation is so great, but for some couples it's impossible to put the lid back on the box. There's no forgiveness without some forgetting. This is what I would do. I'd go along with this break-up (don't beg to get her back), and tell her you understand that losing her was the price you paid for your indiscretion, but it's a big price to pay when you still love the person as deeply as you love her. Tell her "If the shoe were on the other foot, I'd probably feel the same."  This approach may put her in a position to ease off a little if she feels she's being understood. You can also throw in "I don't blame you one bit for letting a jerk like me go." Now she might feel a need to defend you! This separation could give her the time she needs to put this into perspective (you, as well), because I do believe you when you said you had done everything to right the wrong. Hopefully the distance will allow her see that. Again, don't beg her to come back to you, and give her the space she needs. Only time will tell the outcome. Good luck to you, and let me know what happens.