Hi Miss Emily,

I have been in a committed (at least at my end) relationship with my common-law partner for just under 8 years. We have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter and have lived together most of our relationship.  He has had several affairs on me in the past and I have tried my best and moved forward.  The problem this time is not an affair but a situation that occurred one evening.  My partner invited his friend over to hang out, (someone who I had never met).  When he came into our house, our dog got overly excited and had an accident on the floor.  I bend over to clean up the mess and then proceeded on my merry way upstairs to watch a movie with our daughter.  She of course wanted a movie that was downstairs and so I made my way downstairs to get it.  I did just that, and then leaned over to close the drawer. Went back upstairs and that was the end of my day.  My partner later comes up to me and tells me that I was bending down in front of his friend and his friend commented on it.  ARE YOU FOR REAL...I didn't know bending down was such a crime.  Not only that but he said that I was walking around with part of my stomach showing.  I was wearing a sweatshirt and jogging pants.  If I move a certain way my sweatshirt will creep up but I am probably the most insecure person about my "baby" belly then anyone and the last time I showed off my middrift was 1994.  Since then has refused to speak to me and has even called me a slut, whore along with other hurtful things.  I am truly shocked at this. I have been nothing but 110% committed to him. I have never acted inappropriately around his friends nor would I ever lower myself to those standards. I haven't spoken to him because I do not choose to get into an intense argument over something I feel is nonsense.  He is very upset about this and has even commented on the fact that I am a "horrible" excuse for a wife.  I am at the end of my rope with this one and need someone from the outside looking in to help me out. 

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

Obviously, he's got a loose screw, and this has nothing to do with you. It's often true that a cheater will accuse an innocent party of behaving the same way he (or she) might under a similar circumstance. His friend's comment set him off, but that's no excuse for treating you with such disregard -- as if he doesn't even know who you are, or you are some cheap trick who just happens to live with him; although I would assume he is familiar with cheap tricks. I don't think it's worth a stand-off with him, but a firm, "I won't be accused of something I haven't done" then go on treating him in a polite manner. But watch out. His behavior is controlling and irrational. I have a problem with you being with a man who has been a common-cheater in your common-law relationship, but that's not my business. You seem like a decent, good person. I wonder if you are aware of that fact.