Dear Miss Emily:

3 months ago, I started hanging out with a guy (we'll call him J) and we went on many dates and talked everyday. I made it clear to him that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, and as much as he disagreed he accepted it and we continued seeing each other. About 2 weeks ago I started talking to his fraternity brother who confessed that he liked me, knowing that his brother liked me a lot more. I began having feelings towards him as well and hung out with him 3 times, but never slept with him. I liked them both for different reasons. I then realized that J was the one that I had stronger feelings for but before I could tell him, he found out about his brother and me, and now feels betrayed. I want to be with him and have already cut ties with his brother. I've apologized endlessly. How can I prove to him that I love him and that I want to be with him and regain his trust back so that we can start fresh and be in a real relationship?

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

It's going to be hard for him to believe you at this point. Betrayal strikes at the very core of our sensibilities and view on justice -- because you know the betrayer took the action for her (his) own gain, and without genuine concern as to how the person would feel if he (she) found out. I think this will take time, and there's nothing more you can do than apologize (as you have). Avoid doing it to the point of causing you to look foolish and guilt-ridden and, then, hope for the best. Perhaps he'll come around, but it will be on his own time schedule and based on whether he thinks you're worth a second chance.