Dear Miss Emily:

How do you determine when it's over between you and the person you're with? I've been seeing this guy for a year and 3 months or so. The first couple of months sucked.  It felt like I had to break down these barriers and then when everything was good. I found out that he was texting other girls telling them that he wanted them. This happened 3 times, but something in me forced me back each time. Now this is my first love so maybe that's it, but when its good its really good and when its bad its really bad. Now my insecurity issues from what he did before are getting in the way. I want to be with him, but this long distance thing and all the drama in the past keeps bringing us to fight and fight. I just don't know what to do anymore, I love him and he loves me, but is love always enough?

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

No, love isn't always enough. To make a relationship work, there has to be trust, compatibility and, although no relationship is seamless in it's execution, it should not have to be this hard -- with a core of mistrust hanging over your head like a guillotine. Long-distance relationships are not easy to maintain, and it takes a firm commitment, a lot of understanding and a willingness to keep it together because that person is worth the lonely times of separation. When you doubt your relationship, this much, it tells me you think it's time to cut bait (at least for a while) and either enjoy your freedom, or look for a relationship that offers the kind of stability you want. This would include a guy who doesn't feel a compulsion to text girls that he "wants them" when he was in, what seemed to be, a committed relationship with you. The nerve of him, and how utterly disrespectful!  This was your red flag that danger was ahead. But you let this relationship continue knowing what you did, and now it's time to face reality. First love -- lessons learned.