Dear Miss Emily:

My wife and I have been together for 4 years, married for 2. We met while I was teaching in another country. We started dating, and ended up getting married. The problem is, that ever since we started dating, we have been fighting. We have come close to separating a few times.We love each other and help each other all the time. She has helped me with past issues, as I have with her. She is my best friend.  The problem is that we just have nothing in common and don`t share the same interests. I feel like being alone a lot of the time because we don`t have anything to do together. Also, I am an athletic person that loves exercise and eating healthy a lot. She is getting more overweight and doesn`t care about exercise. It`s just constant fighting with one another. We don`t want to say goodbye to each other 'cause we love each other, but I think we both feel that something needs to be done. I am so torn up on what to do and need some guidance.

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

It is a fact that we often make choices that aren't always in our best interest. But we are human, have feelings and, in your case, because you and your wife are extremely caring people (and have created a bond) it makes it doubly hard to break away. But I think it is time. And I know you do, as well. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. You did not mention children, and that is a good thing. It will make it easier to start fresh on a path that puts you back in charge of your life. Friendship is a cornerstone to having a good marriage, but a good marriage cannot make it on friendship, alone. You need not sever all ties, and talk of divorce is not something that needs to be put on the table, at this point, but a separation is a good place to start and it will give you an opportunity to clear your head and move to the next step with a greater understanding of why you made the decision to part. It's painful. It always is -- but this is not something you need to wear like a hair coat for as long as you live.