Dear Miss Emily:

I broke up with my ex two months ago, saying I wanted
a break as I was confused. Two weeks later, I realised I still
wanted to be with him, as I missed him so much and still really
love him. He then said he didn't want us to go out anymore. I
saw him a few times since then, and each time we ended up acting
as a couple again. It was always he who made first move, but
when I asked him what he wanted, he said he wanted to be on his
own -- not to be in a relationship. However, he couldn't give
me a reason why. Eventually, I told him exactly how I felt, saying
I really wanted to be with him still. He said he didn't know,
for ages, then after a while started kissing me again. I thought
this meant he wanted to be with me again but, then, when I asked,
he said he didn't. He also said he was unsure about a lot of things.
Since then, I havn't seen him and have only spoken to him through text.
I am so in love with him. I miss him so much, and I'm broken hearted.
I just want to be with him again. Please, could you advise me on the
best way to win him back? I would really appreciate any advice you
have. He said he still loves me, and I don't want to give up on us.
Thanks for your time.
Want Him Back

---------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------


Dear Want:

You initiated the breakup and, now, want to erase it. This is
not uncommon, and very much human nature. You were being honest
with your feelings, telling this guy that you wanted to take
a break because you were confused. He goes along with it. First
mistake on his part as far as you see it because, now, you start
to feel rejected. Although you wanted a rest from this
togetherness, your fragile ego wants him to object and beg you to
reconsider. He doesn't take the bait. Now, in a desperate play,
you want him back and profess your undying love for all
the wrong reasons. But he's smart enough to see that there was
merit to the breakup, and he's ready to move on. You had a
brief second go-round, it was even more confusing, and he
decided to see what it was like to really go solo. That's the
way I see it. Only time away from him will force you to
come to terms with your real feelings for him. You'll have to
decide if you want him back for legitimate reasons or because you
are lonely and insecure. Face the fact that he may never come
back to you, and this may be a good thing. Again, keep in mind
that you were the one who set this whole thing in motion and
there was a honest, gut reason for it. To ignore this fact will
keep you from letting go and possibly set yourself up to look
like a fool. You'll feel better if you don't make this become a
life or death issue. Have fun, and never pursue a relationship
out of need, but rather from want. If he comes back, keep it light
and take one day at a time. And remember, love is a word that's
used more often than it is meant. Consider the source!