Dear Miss Emily:

Approximately 2 years ago, I began dating a boy, and for confidentiality sake - we'll call him Jim. He and I really hit things off. We now live together (after I moved across the state and changed everything I once knew) and are not engaged. Most my friends and family thought it was strange that he hadn't "popped the question" and I too, but I loved him nonetheless. Well, "strange" showed it's ugly face in the form of my best friend persuading him to NOT propose because I was "crazy" and he didn't need to spend the rest of his life with someone like me... Sound ugly?! It was...however, he tells me (and I know this is true) that she was aiding in the process of the proposal/ring search.
A friend-divorce later, he and I are ok, but struggling a bit to re-root ourselves into our relationship without the interference of the jealous best (ex-best friend) who semi-threatened to ruin my/our lives together, but at one time tried to help. Needless to say, I told her to remain out of our lives and I feel a bit remorse for being so harsh to her, but I am still very hurt by the fact that she said some of the things she said to him.  How can I move forward and/or cope with the things she said after I overreacted to a one-time snag comment towards my character in an attempt to meddle in our lives?  Do I forgive her (Side note: she is one of my only friends who lives back at home and may persuade all my other friends to drop me too), or do I allow her to intrude in both my romantic and friendship lives for the sake of saving friends over the deal?  If I leave her be, as my mom suggests I do, and she takes the rest of my friends, will I be capable of making new friends at my age?

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

In another e-mail, please try to explain to me how this so-called friend made these comments to your boyfriend (under the guise of helping him look for an engagement ring), how you found out about it, AND, why you think you might have overreacted -- other than this fear of losing so-called friends because of how, apparently, powerful she is in everyone's life? If you do not reply to these questions, I will give you advice based on what you have told me in your e-mail. First, as far as your friendship with this girl, I see several possibilities for her behavior -- yet I draw the same conclusion. She truly thinks you are a crazy bitch (but personally likes you -- you know, from one crazy bitch to another), and your boyfriend would be making a huge mistake to marry you; despite her offer to help this poor, deluded fool look for a ring. She thinks you are a crazy bitch, doesn't like you, but still was willing to help this poor, deluded . . . Or, she is terribly jealous of you, and your happiness is secondary to her troubled, insecure self. Amazingly, this type of person can be extremely powerful. But you see, no matter what the reason, this was a horrible breach of trust. If you don't keep her out of your life, you will be setting yourself up for more trouble down the road. And if your other friends fall away because of this, they are not worth keeping, either. As Oscar Wilde once said, "True friends stab you in the front."  Because even if you are a crazy bitch who will make this man's life miserable were he to marry you, it wasn't her call to make. Friends are made throughout your life and, therefore, there is no reason to put up with this B S. Walk tall, and make "grace" your new best friend.