Dear Miss Emily:

I need help because I'm starting to think I will never be able to have a long-term relationship! Here is my story: I have only dated a few guys and every time I start a relationship with a guy, I stop liking him after about a month or two. I dated this one guy about two years ago, and we broke up after two months because my feelings faded. We became best friends afterward. Recently, I began dating one of his close friends, and this new guy I have liked on-and-off for a few months. Now that we are dating this same problem is happening. I just don't like him as much as I did at first. The worst part is that I keep having feelings for the first guy who I am best friends with. I keep going back and forth wondering which one I actually like -- but I just know that even if I start dating the first guy again, my feelings will change after a month. What should I do? I don't plan on not liking a guy after a couple months, it just happens! Is it possible for me to be in a long term relationship ever? I am only 21, but I would love to be able to get married one day, but I'm worried.

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

In a way, your e-mail was almost refreshing, because I get  many e-mails from women your age who are madly in love and see nothing else in their lives but this one relationship -- and I usually think it's too soon to feel that way. Fifty-percent of all marriages end in divorce, and the younger the age of the couple, the more likely this is to happen. That said, there might be a problem in what you have told me, and I won't discount the possibility. You are, more than likely, extremely discerning, and perhaps your ideal guy doesn't exist. That would be a big problem, since you are going to be disappointed time-and-time, again. Your expectations could be too high, and you may not be giving these guys the slack they should get from just plain being human. Now, there might be other areas of concern: Did your mother degrade or demean your father while growing up? Could he never please her? I ask this  because, as children, we are like sponges and, whether we want to do this or not, we can repeat the behavior of a parent. Also, a child of divorce often hears disparaging comments about the other parent. Is there any truth to what I have written, here? In the final analysis, you may need time to grow into who you are and what you really want out of life. That's a good thing, if you let yourself off the hook and let nature take its course. I would suggest getting a fabulous career in order, first. Why not? You''ll meet people of like-mind if you do, and you will have more in common with the man you choose to marry. Seek counseling if need be.