Hi, I'm 19 and I've been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now and we barely have sex. I think that mostly the reason is because I'm turned off by the fact that every morning my girlfriend says "Can we have sex today?". I feel like sex isn't planned out like that and and we shouldn't plan the days we have sex, its just weird to me. I think I want what I can't have and when she asks that almost every morning it's a turn off to me because she sounds so easy and this makes me not want to have sex. I told her this and, now, we're fighting because she said I was being mean, but I was telling her how  truly feel. Am I not normal because I am turned off by the fact that my girlfriend tries to plan the days we have sex and asks if we could have sex?

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

It's perfectly normal for you to want some spontaneity in your sex life. Work is planned, weddings are planned, and vacations are planned, but sex doesn't have to be put on the "today's to-do list." Where's the joy in that? Now when you say, "I think I want what I can't have," that leads me to believe you want the thrill of the chase?! That's okay, as long as it's not in the form of coercion (unless it's play acting), or the only way to make you happy is for her to come off like a deer in the headlights, or a reluctant virgin on her first sexual outing. You're not being mean by telling her how you feel. She should be respectful of your feelings concerning this matter. If she isn't, she's being selfish, or she has a complete aversion to the element of surprise. Be firm, and tell her this has to be settled in a mature and reasonable manner, or your feelings toward her will change. It's not because you want it to be that way, but this controversy will no doubt fester into something bigger  -- and, unless you suddenly have a change of heart, it will damage your relationship irreparably.