Dear Miss Emily:

Hi, I am twenty years old. I recently started dating somebody over the summer. He has had this friend who is a girl for quite some time. They hooked up a couple times but, then, last summer she had to stop talking to him because she wanted to be with him and he didn't want to be with her. They recently became very good friends, again, right when we started dating. They talk and hang out often. He says there is nothing there the only time I brought it up. I can't help but get nervous or jealous since, at one time, there was chemistry, and if she has feelings for him . . .still who knows?  Should I be worried?

------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

I feel your pain, but I also know it's wasted emotion to be jealous over a situation you can't control. Worried? I'll give you that. Because you're old enough to know that these things happen, and you like this guy a lot!  If he spends a great deal of time with this girl, and thinks you should just sit back and understand "their" friendship at the exclusion of you, he's obviously not ready for the kind of relationship you want. If you enter into a committed relationship, you should become numero uno. That's just how it's done. Until then, you pretty much have to see how this plays out without looking as if you are a frayed nerve ending. It would be wise for you to not always be available when he wants a date. It's not game playing, necessarily. I would never tell anyone to do that!  It just shows him you have a life, and it doesn't revolve around him. If he's offended, and quickly fades into the sunset, you'll know how much he had invested in this relationship.  And that would be . . .not much.