Dear Miss Emily:

While my boyfriend (who is an alcoholic and has multiple addictions) was in rehab, i cheated on him with a guy i met at a wedding. For a while i kept going on with my life like nothing was wrong.  I still talked to both of them like nothing was wrong, but after a while i felt i just couldn't live with myself/. I told my boyfriend(the alcoholic) and, of course, he was upset, but he forgave me and said he wants to work things out.  I don't know what to do.   I love him, yes, but i cant even think about what i did to him without crying. And honestly, i don't know who i would rather be with. Should i insist we break  up? Do i tell this new guy the complete truth?  I am sincerely sorry for the crap i had been pulling. Please help!  This is eating away at me!

-----------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

I don't want to be pessimistic about your boyfriend's recovery, but the success rate is surprising low with addicts. It's a constant battle, and I think you probably feel that if you abandon him, it will send him back to square one. It could, but there are a number of other things that could do it, as well.  He will cling to you, now -- he has no other choice. Addicts need a support system because they are weak and vulnerable,  but you can't do it out of a sense of obligation. Yes, you had a weak moment that led you to this rather unfortunate situation, but I think it was a need to seek some kind of normalcy in your life, and that's really what you need to address. My advice would be that you should allow yourself some time before you jump into a new commitment to your boyfriend. Be firm with the decision you make, and shed the guilt. Who among us hasn't succumb to temptation?  Your fall from grace was pretty understandable. Tell the new guy you had a boyfriend at the time of your involvement with him, but explain the circumstances. He may bail on you, but that's a risk you take. But again, I would be cautious about a redo with "rehab guy" because you might be doing it out of sympathy, or guilt, rather than true love. It's your life, and as long as you lead it with an intelligent approach, you should end up on the winning side.