Dear Miss Emily:

I have been single for about 7 years now.  Just recently I started going out with a girl I have had a crush on for several years.  I thought it would be great but as it turns out it is not what I expected.  She is awesome, cute, super nice, treats me great, accepts me as is, has a good head on her shoulders, has a good job.  I could go on.  The problem is I don't feel any butterflies. I feel more friendly towards her than excited.  She's perfect and I feel nothing.  What's wrong with me?  Have I been single too long?  What's worse is I can see her really falling for me. She likes me so much and I don't want to hurt her.  We've only been going out for about 3 months so I don't know if I should just give it time or will the longer I wait make it worse?  I've had a lot of horrible break ups and I don't want to go through it again. So I want to be sure before i commit to anyone again.  How do I know if I'm letting the right one go?

-----------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------

Expectation is a human thought process that would be better for all if it didn't exist. How many times have you expected things to turn out a certain way but, when reality hits, nothing is the same as you thought it would be? If you feel little to nothing, I would assume that this woman is missing something that you want in a relationship. Don't beat yourself up about it because it isn't turning out the way you dreamed it would be before you got involved with this person. It's too bad you can't freeze time to get this worked out in your mind, but you can't.  If she's falling hard, you need to tell her you care a great deal for her because she's an incredible person, but the romance isn't there. As you said, it would be wrong to lead her on and, if you did, you'd end up facing a more difficult situation than the one you are already in.  Courage is the order of the day.  All this said, if you think there's a problem with you in terms of commitment phobia, or other deep-seated emotional causes for your trepidation, seek therapy, and don't delay.