Dear Miss Emily:

Ive been talking to a girl that I really like for the past 3 months. We were quickly attracted to each other until I found out she had to go back to college. Even though we both are from the same state, she goes to school in another state. When she got there, I still kept in touch but she would rarely communicate with me. I kind of figure a man had to be in this situation, and I asked her. Surprisingly,  she told me that she goes on and off with her ex  because he can be a dickhead, at times, but he is still there for her. She also said she has strong feelings for me and could she us in the future. However, we can't move on beyond that because I'm so far away and he is there closer by her. I truly believe she's in love with him and that's why she hasn't let him go. Also, I believe she likes me as well because I fulfill the attention she needs when we're together. She is a smart and pretty girl that likes plenty of attention and he has more of an advantage than I do! What is the smart way, as a male, to handle this situation by being true to myself and still being there for her. I want to be with her but its hard when she loves another man and he is closer by her. Any advice???

---------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------

I think the best thing to do is tell her you really would like to get something going, but it's not a good idea for your heart to pursue her if she still has an ongoing relationship with someone else. You don't want to be the needy guy waiting in the wings; or the go-to guy when she comes back home just because you are there -- you know, like Mt. Everest!  No, it's best to just be up front and, then, the next move is hers. If she doesn't make it, get on with your own life. It's not to say something couldn't happen in the future if she were to completely end it with the boyfriend.  But you don't want to put your life on hold, because that would be a prescription for a slow death if she changed her mind about you, and lost touch.