Dear Miss Emily:

I work in an office, there is a married man with 2 children who is a ladies man, he flirts with everybody, seems to be a person that every woman wants him, everybody likes him.  Three years ago he kissed me at work, has been flirting with me.  I like him so much but he is married.  He tries to get every chance to touch me. I really like him but never wanted to act on it.  I've been mean to him, and told him many times to just stop and leave me alone yet, as if he never heard it, he continues to be affectionate and told me he wants me.  I've gotten angry with him for not respecting my wishes, and I heard he's cheated on his wife many times! I threw this in his face and told him unpleasant things, and has had many fights via emails.  Finally, we decided to be friends and that's it, but why do I keep dreaming about him.  Why do I think about him 24-7, and why can't I start liking somebody else? BTW, his wife comes to work and is friends with many girls who know what he is doing, what he has done, and yet they seem to have a perfect marriage. This person is very religious and kind. How can he do things like this? Hurting his family, going against gods will and hurting me and others? What kind of a person is he?

---------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------

Well, to start off, I don't know if he's religious, but if he is, he's a supreme hypocrite. Not uncommon. We've seen quite a few politicians, lately, who talk family values, talk about God whenever they have the opportunity, yet cheat on their wives. If it's just his wife who is religious, perhaps he likes the security of having the kind, god-fearing wife, with a nice family he can flaunt to family and friends -- outside of his work environment! But you need to own up to your responsibility in this, as well. You are not defenseless. He kissed you three years ago, you let him, and he has gotten away with what he does because he is allowed to -- few tell him no, because he has something women want -- he pays them a great deal of attention. To me, the guy is a shallow creep who is playing his wife for a fool, and that's the saddest part of this whole situation. At some point, he will be found out -- it usually happens.  But you need to be realistic about what kind of man you are dealing with; a self-centered, ego driven guy who would risk hurting his family for his need to conquer every woman he sets his sights on. It's an obsession with him, and who knows the source of it. Mommy didn't breastfeed him, or  she was a cold fish?  A man like this is to be pitied, if anything, and not thought about 24/7. If you are hurt by him, that's your fault. You are flattered by his attention, but you are one of many. If he had you, it wouldn't last.