Hi Emily:

Me and my girl are together 2 yrs on November1, and she's been acting really weird for the past two weeks --  like hanging up the phone on me and cursing me out mad and random..  I openly see her 2 or 3 days out the week so it's painful to have her treat me like this, but I took her out to eat yesterday and everything was fine. Now while we were eating she said something that confused me. She said "baby, I know, I've been treating u like shit, but it's has nothing to do with u, it has to do with me.  I have problems going on right now but she refuses to tell what they are?  Please help me because now she also changed her mind about beng engaged to me after we went and picked out a $6,000 dollar ring, and I almost have it paid off.  I was going to ask her to marry me at dinner, on our anniversary, but I'm hurt because she told me she's not ready. What changed her mind?

----------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------


Well, you can't know what changed her mind unless she's willing to tell you, and she owes you that, at least. You are a couple, and she's wrong if she says it only has something to do with her and not you. You seem really hurt, and I don't blame you. This seems to have come out of left field, unless she usually treats you poorly, or she has her good and bad days -- and this is just an exaggerated version of the woman you thought you wanted to marry. I think you need some balls (pardon if that offends), and I would tell her in no uncertain terms that you deserve better treatment and respect, or you are out of here -- and don't back down.  Even if she suddenly decides she's made a mistake and does want to marry you, her volleyball behavior on this matter is suspicious, and you don't want to marry someone you don't trust -- and who you also can't trust with your feelings. Be strong, show her you're no pushover, and keep me posted on this. Marriage is tough enough when you start out with stars in your eyes, but a beginning like this is a time bomb.  Communication and honesty are components of a good marriage. Don't settle for less. That ring can be sold, by the way. For now, keep in under lock and key.