Dear Miss Emily:

I'm confused about whether I should break up with my boyfriend or not.  We have been together for 2 1/2 years and I feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore. We maybe have sex twice a month, .but that's b/c I initiate it.  He's very focused on his classes, whereas I just graduated and am looking for a job.  We are both 22 so, in my opinion, his sex drive shouldn't be that low.  I mean, I lost my virginity to him--and the first 6 months we were together he couldn't keep his hands off me.  I think sometimes it might be b/c of stress, and recently I asked him if he would stop watching porn so that I might have a better sex life with him and he agreed.  He's the greatest guy other than that.  But I can't help but feel that it's my fault.  I work out regularly and eat healthy, but it's just really weird when we go out and he gives other girls attention, while I'm getting attention from other guys. He denies that it has anything to do with me.  But the last two times we've had sex, each with a three week break in between, he has gone...well, limp.  I don't know what to do, because he fulfills me in every other way.  I feel like I'm the sex maniac, here, or am I just deprived?

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

There are a few issues that could come into play. For one, it's a misconception that all men have naturally high libidos, and can function no matter what the circumstances. Relationships start out with a strong sexual emphasis, but it can get stale, often does, not married or married.  He's also probably burning the candle at both ends with school, but he's going to have a job sometime soon, and that kind of pressure and stress can equal out to be the same, or worse than what he's going through now. You've been together for 2 1/2 years, with neither one of you having much prior experience. You are, most likely, at a crossroads in your relationship. I don't know if you live with him (that makes it a little dicier), but I do think you need to have a serious talk and consider a break in your relationship. I'm not saying you can't work this out, but it takes two, and if he's not on board with improving your present circumstance, a break might be the right decision at this time. You don't have to end things completely. Spend a little time apart, and see each other with ample space between. You may end up with him for life, but you are not happy, now, and this needs to be settled.