Dear Miss Emily:

I'm 4 1/2 months pregnant.. My boyfriend and I have been dating about two years but we mad it official a year ago, this month. That's our 1 year anniversary. Well, Ii moved out of living with my parents and moved to my boyfriend's.  He is 20 and I'm 18. He lives with his mom and brothers and sisters. This is temporary because my family was stressing me out and it's just not enough space for another baby. So my hormones are crazy.  I don't even want to be touched sometimes, and sex...ewww.  That bothers my boyfriend a lot and we sometimes get in arguments about it. So on our anniversary, he cooked me a nice dinner . We have no money to spare. Then we got in a heated argument. He was just expressing his feelings, and he told me he cheated on me last Jan., with his ex which was his first when he was 16.  I don't know what to do. I love him so much and he says he is sorry and we cried together and everything, but I don't know what to do.   I don't wanna leave but I'm so mad!  Also, this happened since my hormones are back to normal.crazy right...

-----------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------


Oh, my, this is an unfortunate turn of events. You're really at a disadvantage because you're in a situation where you need other people to help you get through this pregnancy, you still have months to go, no home of your own and now this?!  Eighteen or not, you need to gain some instant wisdom and realize these things:  Being this young (in today's society) and having a baby, is a lot of pressure and your circumstance are less than desirable. Your boyfriend feels it, there's frustration financially, and the close quarters, in one house -- all this is an emotional time-bomb. You two had a fight, and he wanted to hurt you. Last January, he did an awful thing by cheating on you, and he's eternally sorry (or so it seems), and you need to accept the truth of it and let the anger go -- for you and your baby's sake. Stress is not good for a pregnant mom and a growing fetus, as I'm sure you are aware. You can't change the past, nor can he. Show him incredible maturity by telling him you have forgiven him, but you are not stupid.  If he treats you with such total disregard in the future, you will plan your life without him. And mean what you say. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you need to plan a good life for you and your baby. If this relationship doesn't work and, I'm sorry to tell you this, they often don't, pick a career and get financially independent. The world can be a cruel place, but it's a lot easier when you have your ducks in a row.  And by the way, it might be a good idea to check the Internet for ways that you can please this boyfriend of yours, sexually, without feeling like you'd rather sleep on a bed of nails.  A little understanding in this department can go a long way.