Hello, Emily.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 yrs now.  About 3 yrs ago, she said she was confused about our relationship since I hadn't proposed and wanted to take a break to do some soul searching.  I was very heart broken but I let her have her space.  We ended up getting back together after only a week or so, but I always felt like maybe she hooked up with someone else during that time.  I asked her shortly after we got back together but she promised she didn't.  So, now 3 yrs have gone by and we are very much in love and our relationship has really grown.  I'm at the point where I truly am ready to ask her to marry me.  Well, that was until I just got a call from her crying!  She told me she had to tell me something that has been eating away at her for the past 3 yrs!  She wanted to see me and tell me in person, but I had to know so I asked to her tell me over the phone.  Through the tears she told me that she did hook up with an ex-boyfriend.  She said she had to tell me because she loves me too much to keep it from me any longer.  She said she is truly sorry and begged me to not let it change what we have.  I feel like someone just ran me over with a truck!  I don't know what to do or how to handle this.  I love her so much!  Do I forget about it or.........  Please help!

----------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------


I could swear I got this same letter a few months ago. It appears you're not the only one who has written to me about this issue.  But I'll tell you the same thing I wrote to the other advice seeker: Your sweet girlfriend may have made a mistake in not telling you what had transpired during your break-up, but that was a long time ago, and before your, now, solid relationship.  She has let you know how awful she feels about it, because she truly loves you and it's been eating away at her.  Things happen in our lives that we regret, but it is the most trustworthy who come forth and admit it. I would most definitely let this go, because if you don't, and if you continue to harbor the feeling that you were shafted, you'll ruin a good thing. You don't want that, because what you have is rare -- believe me!