Dear Miss Emily:

I've being seeing this SWAT officer for over a year, and it's been a roller coaster ride. I'm starting to think that his emotionally unavailable.   He's 40 years old with no kids, never being married. When we first started seeing each other everything was fine, until I asked him "Were do we stand in the future," because there were other guys out there that are interested in me. His reply was "Since there are other guys out there, I think that we shouldn't see each other again." After  2 weeks of not talking to each other, he reappeared, just to disappear for a couple of month without a trace.  Now he reappears in my life.  He claims he disappeared because he couldn't take verbal abuse.  He felt like I had someone else, so he had to teach me a lesson.  Everything was going well up until a couple of days ago.  Now he doesn't think we should see each other again. I'm confused by this man.  Should I move on?  Is he playing game with my heart, or just! being vindictive? I know there isn't other woman.

--------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

Yes, it's long overdue for you to move on.  He does seem like he wants to call all the shots, and when you dare suggest to him that you would like to know where your relationship is headed, he takes umbrage -- as if you stripped him of his armor.  I guess being a SWAT officer takes a certain type of individual, and being emotionally unavailable and a "take no prisoners" attitude are good traits for the job. Sad to say, it's not a good approach for carrying on a relationship, because relationships require people to deal with matters of the heart. The next time you talk to him, thank him for making you see the light and don't be condescending. That would reinforce his steely resolve if you were.  Tell him you agree that you two shouldn't see each other any longer, and wish him luck.  He could back down if his ego is damaged, but don't fall for it.  If you do, you'll only set yourself up for repeating history.