Dear Miss Emily:
 
I dated a girl that I worked with at summer camp and we fell for each other right away. It was the best time of either our lives, and I really wanted to be with this girl. Sadly, she lives on the other side of the country. At the end of the summer, she tried to convince me to move out to be with her and go to school near her. I was nervous, at first, but quickly realized how much I wanted to be with her and decided that taking a chance would be a good thing for me. I found a school that's close to hers, and started looking for places to live so I could visit whenever I wanted. When I told her that I wanted to move there, she suddenly wasn't so sure. She said she wasn't ready to have a serious relationship and she wasn't ready for the pressure. I was pissed but wanted to still try. I went out to visit her and we talked about it some more, and she said another major reason was because she was kind of ashamed to be with me because I wasn't going to school and didn't have a job! Of course I wasn't going to school, because I had been taking classes and decided not to in order to try to save some money to move out there. And I didn't have a job because I wanted to visit her and didn't want to get a job and then go on vacation the very next week!  I want to go out there and be with her, and I honestly feel like she wants to be with me but is just nervous that it won't work out and that I will hate her forever. What should I do?

------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

I think moving would be impulsive, and unwise at this point in time. Visiting would be a better plan because of the lack of real commitment from her.  In the best of circumstances, it's still a gamble. Summer camp romances are some of the best because it happens away from the realities of life back home, and the summer nights encourage love to bloom.  But now she's home and having second thoughts.  If you move, you'd better do it knowing it probably won't work in your favor.  She warned you, and be prepared to consider it a learning experience if it doesn't go your way. You'll have to "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."  If you are not emotionally up for this, and will harbor a grudge that will eat at you and lay the blame totally at her feet, save yourself the trouble and stay home.