Dear Miss Emily: I am for the first time a mistress... no i dont take pride in it but i can't say that i don't like the perks either. i have been seeing this man for a while now. He is very professional and something like a famous person in our town. He has a wife, and i have been in the same room with her and brought her gifts with his money. We spend the nights in hotels and he buys me very nice things. I think that we are both tired. I think he's afraid that i am going to tell and, then, his career will be over. Should i stay with him, or just end the relationship all together? i dont won't him to leave his wife for me. I like things the way that they are. What should i do? -----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------- You don't explain why you two are "tired" and then say you like the arrangement the way it is -- a contradiction, indeed. I would think you'd move on when you do sincerely tire of him, or vice versa. These types of situation sometimes seem to resolve themselves when interest wanes, and the meetings get fewer and fewer. But don't be afraid to end it, and be honest about your feelings if this truly seems more an effort than a pleasure, lately. If he appears to be losing interest, tell him, "That's fine" and he can trust you to keep your mouth zipped -- and mean it! It really doesn't have to be complicated unless you or he make it so -- although it's not uncommon for the wife to find out because of various slip-ups and sloppy planning. That's when things get messy, and a life can be irreperably damaged.