Dear Miss Emily:

I have been with the same guy now for 10 months, and before these 10 months, we dated.  It was over 2 years ago, and we dated for 1 year -- then we got in an argument right before Valentine's Day. We decided we kind of needed a break. Valentine's Day, the day after our decision, he had sex with one of my so-called best friends. We didn't talk for awhile after that...probably over 1 year. I was so mad at him and my friend, and it put me through a lot of distress. I loved him with all of my heart, and he did that to me. SO... long story short, we're back together.  Everything is okay. He seems to have changed, and apologized way too many times but still not enough..., and he even bought me a $400.00 ring for my birthday. Now he's saying he wants to be with me forever and everything....but how do I know if I should stay with him?  I don't know how to get past the image of the love of my life and my best friend.... should I stay with him, or should we go our separate ways?  I have nobody else to ask right now......

------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

People make mistakes and hurt each other.  That is a given.  If he is sincerely sorry for what he had done and, in actions as well as words, he has proved his love for you, let it go and look to the future.  I am going to assume that his temporary fall from grace was guided by a hormonal surge with a willing partner at an emotional weak moment -- due to his fallout with you?! That said, if you are going to harbor an internal anger toward him because you cannot, and will not get over his betrayal, despite his every attempt to make it up to you, let him go. Because if you can't put it behind you, it will always be a weapon you can use against him, and he will never win. Don't make any major plans for a more permanent relationship, i.e., engagement/marriage, until your thoughts of him with "so-called" have faded to a distant, and meaningless memory.