Dear Miss Emily:

I have been in a relationship for over a year now with my bf.  Last year before we got together, he used to flirt with one of my friends (i was not aware at this time), and she also had some feelings for him although they never expressed them. My friend left the country and came back earlier this year. The issue I have is that they talk a lot with each other and whenever she calls for a favor he's always willing to help. I am not comfortable with it because I know his weaknesses.  He can never just be friends with a girl. All his relationships (including ours) started with a frienship.  I'm just afraid that maybe something might happen. I love him very much and wouldn t want to lose him over something this petty. She is also a good friend of mine, and I don't want it to seem as though I'm being petty. What should I do??

------------Miss Emily's advice-----------

You are right to be concerned because this kind of thing does happen. Yet you can't live your life in a state of paranoia.  Keep your ears and eyes open, and let your boyfriend know you have some concerns about "their" friendship based on his flirtatiousness,and your friend's past interested in him. Avoid leaving any image of being weak, as it can be interpreted as desperation. Don't create a situation where he thinks he would be justified in cheating on you or breaking up. Let him know that all you ask is total honesty throughout the relationship you have with him, and if he begins to feel differently toward you, you want to be the first to hear it. The friendship dynamic is great if everyone in the threesome feels a part of it, and no one is alienated.