Dear Miss Emily,

I'm 19 years old and I recently... as of about a week ago found out I was pregnant. The other party responsible for this accident if an ex-boyfriend of mine. We've been neighbors for about 5 years and know each other very well. He's never been all that nice to me, constantly blowing me off and leading me on, etc. Days before I found out about this, I told him I never wanted to see or talk to him, again, due to the way he treated me etc... and then this happened. At first, I had one of my friends call him, he hung up. He called me back the following morning -- I'm sure after much persuasion from one of my friends. All he said was "go to the doctor and get it taken care of asap." THAT... was all he had to say about the situation. A day later, he said "I'm sorry, this is a horrible situation."  Those two things were basically the gist of what he said. No further support at all.  I asked him a few days later if he would help me pay, and he just said," I might be able to.  My dad's about to go to rehab.  I'll let you know." And that was the last time I talked to him. He won't answer anything I try to text him etc. I even told him that he doesn't know what I'm going through while he's off in college" la-la land" with his fraternity, and I'm stuck in a reality full of nausea, depression, aches, pains, irrational emotional fits.. he doesn't have to deal with any of it since he left, again, for school. I just don't know what to do. I'm so upset that I'm not getting any support from him whatsoever. I don't know what to do to get him to even talk to me.  I understand it's an unpleasant situation, but he has to own up to his mistakes and responsibilities. The thing that upsets me most is that in an awful time like this, he just doesn't care enough to apologize or sympathize.. help?

-------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------

This is a big shock to both of you, and he's in some kind of denial if he thinks this will just magically disappear from his mind if he ignores you.  But if that's the way he's handling it, you have to take control and deal with the present circumstance and come up with a plan.  This is what you should do:  Decide if you are going to have an abortion, or go through the pregnancy and, then, decide to keep the child or consider adoption.  Immediately look in the phone book to see if there's a Planned Parenthood in your area, and make an appointment NOW!!!!  They will help guide you through making the right decision for you. This is a bad situation, I understand -- but even worse if you don't face it with all the emotional strength you can muster. Avoid going to any place where motive is to lay a guilt-trip on you if you decide to terminate your pregnancy.  This is why I suggest Planned Parenthood.  I believe they are duty bound to emphasize all of your options without passing judgment, nor pressuring you.  Again, you must do what you feel is the right decision for you.  Do not feel alone. This has happened to countless women.  If you are smart, you will take charge and not wait for the frat boy to come around offering his aid and assistance. He hasn't proved himself to be reliable in the past, and he may not now. If that's truly the case, you can deal with him later.  Let me know what happens.  I care.