Dear Miss Emily:

I've  been having an affair with a married man since Dec. 2008. He left his wife in Feb to set up home near me. He now bought a home for him and me to live in, but he's still in contact with his wife.  She rings every day to tell him about her day.  He says this will stop once I move in with him, but I'm worried that it won't. He told his wife he wants a divorce, but why has he kept contact for so long with his wife? Help!  Am I being unreasonable?

------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------

I think the fact that he hasn't filed for divorce, yet, allows this women to still be hopeful.  It seems odd that she would be contacting him on a daily basis if she didn't think there was a possibility that he would come back to her.  Either that, or she's one fabulous, understanding woman and is shifting into friendship mode, effortlessly. At this point, it all depends on how sure you are that this man is devoted to the relationship and wanting a future with you. Remember, it will be his house that you'd be moving into, and living with him is no assurance that things will work out once you do move in together.  That said, trust is a must in any successful relationship. I'd set some guidelines on what is acceptable and what is not (concerning the ex) before you make any major move. Common sense, on your part, will go a long way in figuring out how to proceed.  I assume the ex knows you exist?!