Dear Miss Emily: I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. He is 26 and I am 23. He has never been in a serious relationship before. He owns his own bar and also works for construction and seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. Well, I was newly single when I met him and wanted to stay that way. He persued me and we ended up dating. Everyone says they have never seen him this way with a girl before, and that they thought I was "it" for him. We get along great, never fight, and have so much in common!! He got a construction job for a month out of town and, the first week he was gone, he would text and call all the time saying he missed me and couldnt wait to see me. Then the second week, all the sudden, he came home and broke up with me! BUT then he decided he wasnt sure if that is what he wanted and he went back an forth!!! He wrote me a huge letter telling me he is freaked out cause he has never been like this with a girl before and that he was gonna go on this vacation he had planned for a month and think about everything. He came back and decided he wanted to try "us" again and said he would try and stop being an idiot (in his own words) and grow up. But, now I dont know if he is really in this a 100%. Can a guy TRULY just be that scared of a serious relationship??? I want nothing more then to make this work, but I'm not sure how long I should waite around, 'cause now I'm second guessing everything he does and in the back of my mind is always the voice saying "He broke up with you once, so he's really not that into you." I just need some advice.... ----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------- It's hard for some guys to wrap their brain around commitment, because it leave too many stones unturned. He thinks he's off the hook in terms of personal responsibility by being honest, and to a degree he is; but when mixed messages are sent in moments of passion, and words like "I will stop trying to be an idiot and grow up," it's easy to think you just may be the one he will be willing to emotionally surrender his heart and throw caution to the wind. Your best bet is to remain realistic, let go of any urgency and don't appear as if you are standing still until he makes the next move. Make it clear to him that you, too, are pretty sure that thinking beyond the immediate is futile, because feelings can change on either side, and you are independent and strong enough to take care of whatever comes your way. Next step? Believe those words!!! Matters of the heart are seldom free of pain and, if you care for him, you are going to take certain risks. That said, if you see some signs that he is backing off, again, have the courage to walk away with your pride intact. He's 26 and has a pretty busy, time-consuming life. If, ultimately, he's not ready for a serious commitment, so be it. If he were in his thirties or forties, commitment issues would be a huge indication that he wouldn't be good relationship material from the get-go. But he's 26, you're 23, and this type of indecisiveness is not that uncommon at this age.