Dear Miss Emily:

I've been dating a girl for almost two years and not sure if I really love her.  She's a beautiful person, very kind to others, makes me feel good about myself, fun to be around, she's gorgeous, and there's really not much more you could ask for in a girl.  She is dyslexic, and not the brightest bulb, and I'm kind of the opposite in terms of intelligence -- but I don't really mind because she's so great otherwise.  Where a problem comes in is that I constantly think about sex and having it with other girls.  I have cheated on her, and I feel that I have almost no control over these urges. I told her once and she forgave me, but I don't really know what to do anymore.  Should I not be in a relationship? Am I in love with her or just feel that I should be in love with her b/c she's so great?  I'm kind of a romantic and always thought I'd find a girl that I just knew was the one, and I don't have that feeling, but I also don't know if it exists.  Please give me any advice you can.

------------Miss Emily's advice----------

As a side note, some of the brightest people I know are dyslexic but, for all sort of reasons and circumstances, it can stifle intellectual growth.  I understand your reluctance to let her go. When I read your letter, I thought, wow, she's a rare breed o' cat.  That observation made, if you truly feel she is not your intellectual equal, you shouldn't be looking for excuses to accept it if, indeed, you want more. Your unrelenting urge to sow some wild oats is another fly in the ointment, and it all spells out the need to take a break from this relationship in order for you to, honestly, face these issues head-on. Cheating on her is a gross display of disrespect and selfishness, no matter her ability to forgive. With her fine qualities, she deserves a man's loyalty. And yes, I think you can, and will find the girl who is the one.