Dear Miss Emily:

I have a problem.. I dated a woman for a while and felt as though I was in love. I do love her and even though we are broken up, we work in the same building and I see her at least 3-4 times a week. Every time I see her, I can't help but just be upset with the way things turned out between us. We still say 'Hi" to each other and we are supposed to be "friends" but it is hard. I can't get her out of my head. The reason it is so hard for me to move on, I  think, is because of the way it ended. She felt as though she didn't have time for a relationship and couldn't continue. She is a busy person being a single mom, and I respect her decision of putting her child and herself first, but I just can't help feeling the way I do. All I ever did was be a nice guy, and be there for her and losing her the way I did sucks. I know she still cares about me, but she hides it better than I do. It has been roughly a year since our breakup, and I have started to date another woman. I care about her, as well, but I just can't get my ex out of my head. It tears me apart everyday, and I feel like I am never going to be happy again and that is going to effect any other kind of I relationship I have. I don't know what to do, or where to turn. Can you help?

-------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------

Well, it is going to sully every relationship you have in the future -- if you let it.  Maybe you have this pegged correctly, but consider this thought I'm having (although I can be wrong, but rarely!)  You said that you were a "nice guy" to her, and I assume that means you gave her the space she needed to raise her child and carry a full workload without feeling pressure from you.  If this is true, I can pretty much deduce that she was not as attached to you as you were to her, and she was able to break it off using her busy life as the excuse.  A year has passed, and if you want to be sure about what happened, why don't you catch her in the hall, look deeply into her eyes, and ask for the unvarnished truth in order to give you closure.  Right now, you sound like a guy who is kind of wimpy, and gets easily sidetracked by fantasy rather than reality.  This new girl you are dating deserves a guy who isn't pining for the girl who let him get away.  My final advice?  Get real, get on with your life, and stop living what may be a big lie.