Dear Miss Emily

 I am 54, and from Canada. I have been in 3 long relationships that ended in divorce or split up.  My women were always younger, except one. I came to Philippines and married a much younger woman --she is only 19, i know , to young, but I thought it would be great. We sometimes go 3 to 5 days without sex and she does it only then, 'cause I keep after her.  I tell her if she loved me she would want to have sex. She said 4 or 5 days without sex is nothing. I've been in this situation a few times before, and I see what is happening.  Am i wrong ?  I told her if she loved me, she would love to make love with me.  I know the answer, but want your opinion.  Please be truthful.  Am I right -- she can't really love an older man like me?  I look in my 40's and in good shape, too.  Tanks in advance. Oh, yes, she never tells me she loves me unless I say it. I say. "Honey, I love you" about 6 times a day. She will respond, Yeah, I love you too." I tell her I would love for her to tell me without me saying it first, but she doesn't!  Well, she may once, after I say that to her.  We've been married 9 months, and it's getting worse.  I see my past all coming back.

---------------Miss Emily's advice-------------

I have these questions, and maybe you can write a personal reply on them. Are you living with this woman (girl) in Canada, now?  What financial support do you offer?  Yes, you have obviously made the wrong choices. Marriages with a huge age difference rarely work, and marriage is hard without that thrown into the mix.  I suppose this is the same all over the world but, in the states, when a young girl marries a much older man, it is usually for financial gain, or at least some ulterior motive.  And maybe he wants a young "trophy wife."  In your case, do you think it's because this woman (girl!!!) wanted to live in Canada, and get out of her country?  Sex is an important part of marriage, for most, but it isn't everything.  Maybe because sex is so important to you, you misjudged the qualification that a caring, loving mate would offer from the very start.  If this 19 year-old woman wants only what you can give her financially (or more) and gives you sex only when you have to hound her for it, then you have made a big mistake.  It is not something you cannot correct, but you have to face the truth, eventually, and it's better to do it, now, before this situation gets worse  We are all responsible for the choices we make.  Sadly, some of us are completely guided by our emotions, and do not use common sense. Find some courage, decide whether this was a mistake, and correct it.  In the future, look for women of substance, but grow up before you do.  I think the reason you choose younger women is because you are emotionally immature. That always backfires, because you need maturity and wisdom to make proper choices -- especially at your age. If you can't do this, ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist.  This may be the only way you can get the core reason why you make choices that always come back to bite you in the butt.