Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating this amazing guy for 4 months- we have had the greatest relationship one could possibly imagine. We talked every single day, went out 3 days a week. He absolutely adored me. Well, I never told him that I smoke. Drunk, I asked my buddy for a cigarette and my boyfriend just started drilling me (assuming that I smoke all the time). I lied to his face all night long and then finally owned up. He has not verbally spoken to me (except when I picked something up from his place). He just said he wasn't ready to talk, gave me a hug, and had the nerve to text me after I left and said "I do really care about you and I hate to see you like this." He will text me, but will not talk to me or get together with me. He keeps telling me he just needs time, he's mad and hurt and he needs to get to a place where he can fully trust me, again. He says he's not going to date anyone or mess around while he figures it all out. Is he just taking me for a ride, or should I stick around? I attempted to break up with him on day 5 and he assumed I met another guy (which I didn't), I'm just so hurt by his ability to shut me out, not want to see me, not care about what I'm doing, etc. When I insisted that wasn't the case he asked me to please give him more time. He won't answer me when I ask how much time he needs. I am ready to lose my mind! I would appreciate your take on the situation.

------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------

Perhaps you should tell him "Thank you."  It was a wake-up call for you, and you needed to address it once and for all.  This might ease your guilt, and get him off his moral high-horse. Closet smokers go through hell -- finding the opportunity to smoke and, then, having to use perfume and breath mints, ad nauseam, so the odor is not detected.  It's time consuming and covert.  Look, if you could be around him and not smoke, you are ripe for quitting. That said, you didn't commit a murder, and his reaction is a little over-the-top, and punitive.  Face the music, hold your head high, and tell him you accept this being brought to light, but you will not accept being in the "hall of shame" for too much longer. The upside? Maybe now you can finally quit a dirty habit that can kill you -- with, or without him.