Dear Miss Emily:

I have been with my boyfriend for four yrs. We got engaged in October and, ever since, we have started planning the wedding for march '10 -- but now he's telling me he has to think if it's the right decision to do. He doesn't want to move away from his parents, so he wants them to move in with us.  Of course I was upset.   I would understand if they were ill, or something, but they are fine! So, at this point, I don't know what to think. He listens to every little thing his mom says and, sometimes, even cancels our plans to take her places or do things for her. I'm so confused.  Should I just forget about him and move on?

---------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------

I admire anyone who shows devotion to his or her parents, but your concerns are valid.  Rather than break things off, if you truly are in love with this man, tell him what you can and cannot accept in this matter were you to marry him.  If he stands on the side of his healthy parents, this is a major indication of what kind of life you will have after marriage.  It would be unfortunate to let a four-year relationship go, but it would be even harder to end this union in divorce court with his mom in the cheering section.  Marriage is a partnership, not an invitation to take a back seat to three front seat drivers.  Set him straight, NOW!