Dear Emily:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. Our relationship is great and so is the sex. The only problem is that after sex he has to leave as his Mum doesn't allow him to spend the night anywhere but his bed.  Her failure to let go is part religion and part that he's her little boy. What hurts the most is that he has more than once said "It's not worth the fight." I know if she backed off he would want to stay.  I don't think its fair that because she's more difficult than me, he sides with her. We are both 22 and I am struggling with the fact that I'm "not worth it."  Do I just have to come to terms with this?  If so how? Is there any way I can make this situation better for everyone?

--------------Miss Emily's advice--------------

I don't think you should feel as if you're "not worth it."  Yes, he could stand up to his mother, but he has chosen to take the least road of resistance because he's not mature enough, nor ready to take a stand.  He still lives at home, obviously, and I would assume that is why she maintains a position of control.  The religious aspect is somewhat absurd because you two are having sex and, therefore, spending the night with you is of little relevance -- and if his mother does not know he is having sex with his girlfriend, it's still a fact that he is, and it's merely a case of deception.  Don't put yourself in a position of competition with his mother, because it should never become a case of winning or losing.  Try to lead him in a direction of independence, but if it gets to a point where you see he is incapable of gaining the freedom he needs to achieve manhood, I'd cut my losses and move on.  A mother/son bond can be quite strong, but it should never be to the point where Mom controls her adult son's life.