Dear Miss Emily:

 I am trying to understand what happened, but I don't.  This is the story.  A man where I work started smiling at me.  He tried talking to me once, but I could tell he was really shy.  Then I started noticing about  5 other women (married women) flirting with him. These same women would end up going out with him.  I didn't understand because he acted like he  still liked me.  I ended up finding out that he was sleeping with most of the women that worked on my floor and, also, the floor above. Even his supervisor!  Unfortunately, that didn't stop me from liking him, nor him liking me, but the ladies seemed to sabotage our getting together.  They felt I was a threat to this one man that they were sharing.  He has 2 little girls, and I guess he went along with it because he needs the job.  Yet, after that, even women who would come in as temps, he ended up flirting with and bedding them too.  I decided at that point that he didn't really like me, but wanted something physical, and I wanted more. Still, I liked him.  A new guy
came into the picture who is a temp, and we got friendly.  Not long after, he confessed that he’s gay.  I was okay with that. It was a shame because I would have liked something more.  Now the twist!  The new guy temp is having a fling with the guy I originally liked.  I caught them in an intimate moment. I was upset because I didn’t know the original guy was bisexual. Now I think he has tried to keep my friends away from me, and the temp no longer speaks to me.  I am hurt.  For the last two days I’m been trying to figure out why I attract users and abusers.  That’s not what I want in my life. I want better.  I feel like I need to quit this job.  I’ve never been so distraught.  Please help!   
 Ready to Quit

------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

Dear Ready:

I must admit, I’m a bit stunned by this letter.  Is it for real?  Is the working world really like this, and I’m out of the loop?  One man, sleeping with all of the married women in the office and a male temp, as well?  This guy’s not an employee, he’s running his own stud service!  If I were you, I wouldn’t want to sleep with him, but I would make myself available to be his agent if he ever decides to make a string of porno films.  But seriously, it’s hard for me to believe that all of this is truly going on, or if office gossip has reached a new level of insanity. If even some of it is true, it sounds like it’s a terribly unhealthy environment to work in.  Look at how you view this whole situation:  Everyone is sleeping with the guy, but you.  A new guy comes on board, and even he is sleeping with this guy.  You have to take a look at why you are feeling so rejected in this  “theater of the absurd” and if, somehow, you are fostering this unfortunate situation.  If you say you attract users and abusers, it’s because you must feel, deep down, pretty lousy about yourself.  Otherwise, this office drama would be amusing rather than the focus of your life.  Try to break away from these feelings of failure and take a good hard look at your life and where you are headed.  The world is a hard place to live when you feel powerless. Next week, walk in to work with a new attitude. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.